Marvel – Aspasía S. Bissas

What We Do in the Shadows: Top 5 Reasons Guillermo Slays, blog post by Aspasia S. Bissas, aspasiasbissas.com. Vampire, vampires, vampire hunters, vampire slayers, What We Do in the Shadows, Van Helsing, Guilermo de la Cruz, heroes, hero

Spoilers Ahead

While vampires will forever be my favourite, I’m also a fan of a good vampire hunter. And Guillermo de la Cruz from What We Do in the Shadows is a great one. Keep reading to find out why…

5. He earns the vampires’ respect

Guillermo starts out as vampire Nandor’s familiar, which he describes as being a cross between a best friend and a slave. At first, Guillermo is overlooked, disrespected, and taken for granted. Vampire Laszlo usually can’t even be bothered to use his name, calling him Gizmo instead. By the end of Season 4, Guillermo is a vampire hunter, Nandor’s bodyguard, a parent figure to baby Colin, and is essential to running vampire Nadja’s nightclub. As a human, he’ll never be seen as an equal, but when it comes to the vampires who live with him, he’s as close as any human can get.

4. The Vampires Would Be Lost without Him

Although (adult) Colin Robinson seems fairly competent, it’s Guillermo who keeps the vampires’ lives running smoothly. He maintains the household, takes care of the vampires’ (sometimes bizarre) needs and requests, is their liaison to the modern world, protects them, and more. When Guillermo leaves for a few weeks, Nandor ends up begging him to come back. He can also dismember a body, which is a handy skill to have when you live with vampires.

3. He’s a Survivor

Guillermo might be one of the only familiars to not die prematurely. Nadja and Laszlo’s familiars never last long; meanwhile, Guillermo has been with Nandor for ten years. He’s also (presumably) the only survivor of a group of familiars who are ambushed and slaughtered. He also makes it through a gladiatorial-style setup at the Night Market, where familiars are pitted against one another for entertainment (and again, don’t seem to last long). Nandor does have an older familiar who apparently retired, so maybe he’s the only vampire to take care of his familiars. Still, he’s not always around, and yet Guillermo endures.

2. He’s a Van Helsing

When he gets the results of a DNA test, Guillermo finds out he’s a distant descendant of Abraham Van Helsing. At first he thinks it’s a funny coincidence, but quickly realizes there might be something to it, in part because he’s already killed two vampires. While those deaths could reasonably have been called accidents, Guillermo tests the theory by practising with stakes, before moving on to killing the vampires who keep showing up at the house to kill Nandor, Nadja, and Laszlo. And he’s good at it. Really good. Guillermo can take down an entire room of vampires without breaking a sweat. When he’s forced into a gladiatorial match against Nandor, he proves that he could take down Nandor too (he doesn’t, though). Apparently Guillermo is a natural born vampire killer.

1. He’s Not Your Usual Hero

One of the best things about Guillermo is that he’s no typical superhero. He’s soft-spoken, wears glasses (because he needs them– not as a disguise) and sweater vests, is on the chubby side, and isn’t overly tall. And he kicks ass. You’d never have to worry about a vampire attack if he’s nearby. Buffy was also supposed to be an unconventional hero because she’s– gasp!– a girl! Okay, it was a big deal at the time (and much needed), but Buffy still ticks all the other usual hero boxes: she’s conventionally attractive, fit, fashionable, wisecracking– she’s supposed to be a teenager but never even gets a pimple. She’s basically Miss Stereotypical All-American. Well, Guillermo is American too– just not what people tend to think of, which is, of course, the point. Toward the end of season 4, Guillermo also comes out as gay– another attribute not generally associated with heroes (Marvel/DC are only just starting to introduce LGBTQ+ supers, and somehow it’s considered controversial). Is Guillermo what most people think of when they picture a vampire hunter? No, and that’s awesome.

Bonus: Guillermo wants to be a vampire, even after realizing he’s a born vampire hunter. If he ever gets his wish, it’ll be interesting to see how those two opposing sides of him fight it out.

What do you think of Guillermo, or vampire hunters in general? Share your thoughts in the comments…

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Cheers,

Aspasía S. Bissas

Review: Morbius, blog post by Aspasia S. Bissas, aspasiasbissas.com. Vampire, vampires, Morbius, Marvel, Spider-Man, Sony, movie reviews

As soon as I heard about Morbius coming out, I was excited to see it. And then the reviews started coming in.

Spoilers Ahead

I should mention that I haven’t read the comic book, so I won’t be comparing the movie to it at all. My SO has read it and he said he was never a fan of the character, who started out as a Spider-Man villain and ended up being more of a neutral character. If movie Morbius is anything like comic book Morbius, I can see why he wasn’t a fan.

Morbius is about Michael Morbius, a man with a chronic (and ultimately deadly) disease that he’s vowed to cure. In pursuit of a cure he creates artificial blood that has somehow saved more lives than penicillin, but still can’t save his own. So he crosses over to the unethical side of research, importing (sigh) vampire bats from Costa Rica and using them to create a serum that when fused with his own DNA will, theoretically, finally be the cure he’s been looking for.

And then it goes horribly wrong. Oh no– what an unforeseen tragedy that no one could have foreseen.

It wasn’t just the story and main character that were underwhelming. Starting with the opening shot of scenery suddenly interrupted by a helicopter entering from behind the camera, I felt like I’d seen this movie a thousand times before. From the cinematography to the acting to the writing– it was all just so pointless. There’s no tension or mystery at all, no artistry; and the whole thing seems rushed, like everyone involved was just trying to get it over with. Twilight was by no means a good movie, but at least it tried.

By the way, I’m no fan of Twilight, but I’d rather watch the entire movie series in one sitting than sit through Morbius again. Bring on the sparkles.

The only bright-ish spot in the entire movie was Michael’s best friend, Lucian AKA Milo (played by Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith). Milo also has the disease Michael has and is desperate to be cured, taking the serum in secret. Michael then immediately treats Milo as though he’s a monster/pure evil because he doesn’t want to go back to a painful life and early death. At least Milo embraces being a vampire and exudes some menace, unlike mopey Michael. At no point does Michael consider finding a way to live with being a vampire, like finding a source of human blood without the need to kill people (blood bank blood maybe? Idk). He immediately concludes that his serum is a curse with intolerable side effects (i.e., becoming a vampire) and it’s best to just give up rather than try to find a way to make it work. No wonder Milo isn’t on board.

The movie ends with a predictable twist and the worst post-credit scenes I’ve seen. I’m honestly not sure why Morbius was made; it doesn’t add anything to vampire lore, and I can’t see it adding anything worthwhile to the Spider-verse (like Spider-Man, Morbius is a Marvel character licensed by Sony, so technically not part of the MCU). Milo isn’t even around anymore to possibly make things more interesting in future movies.

If you’re a stickler for watching everything Marvel related, then go ahead and watch Morbius. If you want to see a decent vampire flick, then go watch Lost Boys, or What We Do in the Shadows, or yes, even Twilight (at least you can laugh at it). The critics were right, Morbius sucks, and not in a good way.

What did you think of Morbius? Share in the comments…

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